Friday, March 2, 2012


How many times can I break till I'm shattered? This line from an O.A.R song (one of my favorite bands btw) keeps running through my head. I feel like Humpty Dumpty and don't know if I can ever be put back together. The first week or so after my chemical were ok, I had a plan, I was prepared for this. Now I am just a mess. Thankfully my doc wrote me a prescription for something so I can relax and sleep at night but I am a mess during the day. I had a full on break down at work the other day, sobbing hysterically. Three people in the last week have suggested therapy and when your boss hands you a card for the Employee Assistance Program, that's not a good sign. I am just so so sad.

On a positive note, we are getting the ball rolling with getting my sister tested to be my donor. I had a bunch of labs drawn the other day, my husband is having some drawn next week and if the nurse would ever call me back, we can get my sister tested for some stuff hopefully before her appointment with my doc. My sister lives about 8 hours away so I am trying to get as much done as possible before her appointment so if things go well she can start meds. She is going to Europe this summer and really wants to donate before she leaves. However since the donor nurse has yet to call me, I don't even know if this is feasible.

I just feel like I am never going to catch a break.


  1. If I could, I would send a million breaks your way. Fingers crossed that everything will work out with your sister being you donor.
    Sending lots of warm thoughts your way.

  2. I am sorry that you are having such a hard time, IF is brutal. Take care of yourself.
    Wow, I didn't realize the news about your sister, it's pretty incredible!