Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A Plan

After my IVF consult, I was waiting for the IVF nurse to call me to over "the plan" We played some phone tag but I finally talked to her today and she was so nice, I liked her immediately. I was a little worried because there is a nurse in the office that I really don't like, she has made a few comments to me that made me think she didn't really know what she was doing but she is nothing like her.

I have my IVF class on Thursday. My saline ultrasound and labs will be on 1/21 and then I will start Lupron 2/24. It's crazy, I thought I was taking a 2 month break but there is so much prep for an IVF cycle, it seems like I barely have time to get used to the idea that I am actually even doing it.

I have been thinking since my last post about how I was having a hard time putting into words how I was feeling. I think the problem is while I am happy to be moving on and increasing my chances of getting pregnant, I know that IVF is not guaranteed. It might not work, I might not get pregnant. And I don't even want to think about how I will feel if this doesn't work. So I am trying to avoid feeling anything.

As my husband put it, it's like we are walking into a casino, walking up to the roulette table, dropping $10,000 on red and hoping black doesn't show up. It's a 50/50 chance.


  1. Well said, same thoughts here! I won't mind paying back the loan near as much with a baby on board, but nothing's guaranteed. Positive thoughts, right? Best of luck to you!

  2. yip, trying to think about it not working, well im just not going there at the moment. its so much money that makes it more hard. pray it works for you.

  3. yup, you put it in perspective there. It literally made me think, "maybe we SHOULD just put it all on black. And if it comes up red then we quit" Black gets us in-vitro AND a vacation. haha! Then the reality of losing it all and giving away my chance for a baby made me feel like a horrible evil person for even thinking it!