Updates

I have been such a bad blogger lately. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything I need to done let alone sit down and write and comment on blogs. The weather here has been unseasonably warm and I have been taking full advantage of it by spending almost every night after work outside, either going for a bike ride or run or just sitting on my front porch enjoying some wine with B.

We are getting ready to leave for a 4 day trip to the beach on Wednesday and I am really looking forward to the break. We will be visiting B's cousins and I am excited to see them. Plus it will be nice to relax and recharge. I haven't been sleeping well and work has been crazy lately so I am exhausted. I did treat myself to a mani/pedi and massage on Friday courtesy of some groupons so that was nice.

On the fertility front...I started going back to my Resolve support group and I am glad I did. While no one in the group right now is going through a donor cycle it's still nice to be surrounded by women who truly understand what you are going through. I also learned of a community acupuncture place from one of the women in the group where you pay what you can so I think once we get back from our trip I am going to start going again. I know it will help with my stress, anxiety and sleep issues but I stopped going because it was so expensive. My sisters labs came back and they were good so we get to move on to the next step of her coming out here for an appointment and exam with my dr. Her AMH is at an impressive 5.62 which gives me hope for a great response. I would love to have some frosties for a sibling. I still haven't gotten my period after my failed IVF so I am going to have some labs drawn tomorrow and then I can start provera. I am planning on syncing myself up with my sister so we can get started with this donor cycle ASAP if everything goes well with her appointment next month.

I know I've said this before but I have the best coworkers. They surprised me yesterday with a beautiful orchid and a gift card to one of my favorite cooking stores and a super sweet card. I am so lucky to work with such wonderful and supportive women. Have a great week!

Baby Steps

I finally heard from the donor coordinator today. It only took 10 days. I was getting really frustrated but apparently there was some confusion about me using my sister as a donor. Anyway, she was super nice and apologetic and I got all my questions answered. The first step is having my sister get her CD FSH and AMH drawn. My sister will be getting her period next week (she is on the pill) so she should be getting those drawn on Friday. Once they come back and are hopefully awesome then we can map out the rest of the cycle. Between my sister's schedule and B and I's schedule she won't be able to get out here until mid April for her exam but as long as that looks good, we can expect the retrieval to probably be in early June. Yay!

I think I am slowly working my way out of my depression. The spring like weather is definitely helping as well as my amazing support system... and a little bit of pampering doesn't hurt either! I have been such bad blogger, I am reading and keeping up, just haven't been commenting but I am thinking of you all!

Shattered

How many times can I break till I'm shattered? This line from an O.A.R song (one of my favorite bands btw) keeps running through my head. I feel like Humpty Dumpty and don't know if I can ever be put back together. The first week or so after my chemical were ok, I had a plan, I was prepared for this. Now I am just a mess. Thankfully my doc wrote me a prescription for something so I can relax and sleep at night but I am a mess during the day. I had a full on break down at work the other day, sobbing hysterically. Three people in the last week have suggested therapy and when your boss hands you a card for the Employee Assistance Program, that's not a good sign. I am just so so sad.

On a positive note, we are getting the ball rolling with getting my sister tested to be my donor. I had a bunch of labs drawn the other day, my husband is having some drawn next week and if the nurse would ever call me back, we can get my sister tested for some stuff hopefully before her appointment with my doc. My sister lives about 8 hours away so I am trying to get as much done as possible before her appointment so if things go well she can start meds. She is going to Europe this summer and really wants to donate before she leaves. However since the donor nurse has yet to call me, I don't even know if this is feasible.

I just feel like I am never going to catch a break.