Did you ever play pretend when you were little? My sister and I could play for hours. One of our favorites was playing office. We would set up our desks and our pretend boss Mr.Boggle (I can't even believe I still remember his name!) would give us tasks to do. Don't even get me started on the elaborate scenarios we would act out with our barbies!
I have been playing pretend ever since I signed my consents for my IVF. I am just so damn sick of being infertile, I decided to just pretend I wasn't. Since I didn't have anything IF related between that appointment and when I start Lupron it was easier than it sounds. I did what I wanted without thinking of how it would affect or not affect my fertility. I went to yoga and twisted my body in positions in shouldn't be in, I drank alcohol and caffeine, had a normal sex life, it was pretty nice. Don't get me wrong, it was still there in the back of my mind but I tried really hard to keep it shoved back there. It's quite sad when you think about it, I actually had to pretend to be "normal".
All that was over on Saturday when I get my HUGE box of meds. Talk about overwhelming! I knew I was expecting a lot of stuff but to see it all laid out on my counter was slightly scary. So I think my little game of pretend is pretty much over. It was nice while it lasted though. We have one last weekend of fun in the sun planned. We are heading to Florida for a long weekend to visit some family. I am excited to see my nieces, meet my new nephew (he will be 4 months old tomorrow!), hit the beach, and of course drink wine with my sister-in-law. I am so lucky that my husband's siblings and their spouses are awesome! Then Lupron starts on March 3rd.
I have walked by those meds for a week now and the overwhelming feeling has gotten worse! Soak up the sun and enjoy the long weekend with as little IF thoughts as possible! I start Lupron tomorrow and it's our time to get pregnant, darn it!
ReplyDeleteenjoy your time in florida. sounds lovely! then crack into it, you will be fine, IVF is scary but once you look back you feel proud of how well you did.
ReplyDeleteAHHH, I just got scared picturing the image of the box of meds in my head (and admittedly a little excited too...I've been waiting so long that I really can't wait to start things up again)
ReplyDeleteI am sure those meds seem intimidating - you can do it, you can do it, you can do it!
ReplyDeleteI will be 8 days behind you! I start my Lupron on March 11. The meds are set to be delivered next Wednesday. We will be cycle buddies. :) And we can sit and be terrified of the Giant Box of Needles and all of the iVF-related things together.
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